he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I want to fling myself into the sun
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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