Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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