Did you just see the Batmobile???
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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