She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
