the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
