I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
