Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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