You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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