Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
