I want to walk on stilts...naked
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
