Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
