Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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