so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
