she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
