walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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