We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
