You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
