dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize