somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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