My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize