I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
