I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
