I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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