Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
