How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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