Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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