So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
