saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize