I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Small penises have feelings too.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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