is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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