I wish I could teleport
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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