The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
