Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize