My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
