I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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