we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
