i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you had me at cake vodka
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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