was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
