Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize