great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Found your dick twin last night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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