He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
