i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
