Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
