Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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