lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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