Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
