Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think your dad took our porno
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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