long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
