woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
