If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
