Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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