Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
