I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
