More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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