does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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