o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
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You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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