Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I need to stop coming to work sober
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
