so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
