ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
