I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
