you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize