Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
