call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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